Monday, July 7, 2008
Why I hate Detroit
I won't pretend to understand certain things. Why does milk always expire EXACTLY when it says it is going to? Why must women completely litter a public restroom with toilet paper and not bother to clean it up? Why won't Jesus come down from Heaven and turn me into a ninja with flame throwers for testicles? And most of all...why in the hell do middle aged black women from Detroit love scratch off lottery tickets so fucking much?? Now, I don't typically take stereotypes as truth. Most of them appear to be age old racist remarks which are over exaggerated to the point of being incredibly offensive. However, working at a gas station for three years does enlighten a person after awhile. Every holiday, major or minor, I get heavy travel traffic from people either coming from or going to Detroit. 99.9% of these people are of African American heritage, and about 99.9% of those drive Cadillac Escalades. One would generally associate a brand new Cadillac with wealth, but this is not often the case. I give you an example from last night. This is something that REALLY pissed me off. At roughly 2:47 a.m. a black Escalade pulls up to the pumps and a family gets out to "stretch their legs". Just so you people know...rest stops are designated for this action, not fucking gas stations. Anywho, a woman somewhere between the age of 40 and 45 comes up to me and asks if I accept food stamp cards. Unfortunately, I tell her, we do not. So, she picks up a $.50 pack of crackers and pays me in dimes. No biggy. This woman had four children acosting her, all under the age of 10. The children ask her for a bag of chips, which would have put her back roughly $1.79. She VEHEMENTLY tells them "No, because this store doesn't accept poor folks food stamp cards!" I listen to this as I stare out at the 2006 (I asked) Escalade parked at the pump. A man is putting $80 in fuel into this behemoth. To my shock and horror, this women then proceeds to question me about which lottery tickets she should buy! She selects three $1 tickets. The kids watch her. She had $3 in her purse, and rather than spend it on a bag of chips for her children (who I might add looked famished and I fealt very sorry for them) she buys fucking lottery tickets! Now, this could easily be an isolated incident but it is not. Every holiday weekend I am presented with the same kind of scenario. It's ALWAYS middle aged black women who generally spend at least an hour in the store scratching off lottery tickets. I could count the number of times on one hand that I was not asked if we accept food stamps, and I could do the same with how many times these people were not driving a Cadillac Escalade. I'm trying my best not to sound like a Klan member here. It is not the color of these peoples skin that makes them behave in this manor. If that were the case, all 5 of the African Americans in this town would be rabid lottery addicts. No, I'm penning this one on the city of Detroit. Somewhere, way down the line, it was put into law that all middle aged black women in Detroit have to travel across country every major and minor holiday (generally to Alabama, Georgia, or New Orleans) and spend half of their travel funds on lottery tickets. Someone, ANYONE, please explain to me why this happens! And for that matter, tell me how the fuck these people are affording Escalades, because I want one to.