Sunday, October 12, 2008
Why researching a family background is important before impregnating a woman
This whole year has been pure hell. In this case, I am not speaking on a global scale but a personal one. A couple of years ago I did what I swore I would never do. Get a girl pregnant. These things happen and I've taken full responsibility for my actions, and I got a great little girl out of the whole ordeal so I'm not complaining. At least I'm not complaining about the kid. In fact, she is basically everything I could ever want out of life neatly wrapped up in a diaper. No, the problem lies with the family. For the past 6 months I have been denied access to seeing my little girl. I had spent most of my days off this year at this families home visiting my kid and, for the most part, things went smoothly, though it was always somewhat tense. The woman I impregnated lived with her mother and father (whom I just discovered have been divorced for 4 years!) along with her son and my daughter. Several months ago, much to my relief and overwhelming approval, this woman started dating a guy who began living there as well. Mental problems in this family are as common as arguing over who should do the dishes in most functional homes. The father is a diagnosed psychotic, the mother an overbearing bully, and my baby mama has more skeletons in her closet than O.J. Simpson. Out of the blue, and for no reason, I was told not to come back until "they say it is okay". When a few months passed and I had heard NOTHING from any of these people I hired a lawyer to acquire basic visitation rights for my daughter. Then, within a couple of months time, all hell broke loose. Fighting within that household apparently reached epic levels and my daughter was carted off to Florida with her mom and her mom's boyfriend. This was not with my blessing, and with a pending court date, therefor it was against the law. Now I am caught between a fight I had nothing to do with, both parties trying to win my alliance. The problem is, both parties are LYING to me about numerous things. Therefor I am faced with a serious problem...do I make enemies with the whole family or just half of it? All I want is to see my little girl again. I got to see her briefly last week when her mother and her bf tried to win me over on them going to Florida. I told them to wait until we could discuss our arrangements with my lawyer and they did not. Add onto this death threats from the father of the household, who does like his guns, and my level of anxiety is reaching dangerous highs. In the middle of it all, though, are two young impressionable children who deserve the best life can give them, yet have had their worlds thrown into turmoil by a family dispute.
I grew up in a fairly well established and functional middle class family. We were not without our issues and occasional dysfunctional hiccups, but we were raised right and our current lives reflect that. To be dealing with this level of insanity, which I am actually playing down in this blog, is a staggering blow to my world view. I cannot believe that people would think of themselves more than the children they are raising. I would give my life for my daughter, and would not deny her my best at providing a stable household. These people seem to feed off of negativity and violent arguments. Everybody wants it THEIR WAY and nobody is willing to compromise. I have tried to provide a voice of reason to this family and it is always met with strife. Ultimately, I may very well end up with more than basic visitation rights. Each side is going to smear each other in court until the judge sees neither party fit to raise a child. I worry about her son, since he doesn't have a father to go to. I was told his father was abusive but I have a feeling he just ran off one day when he realized that he would have to deal with these crazy fucking people. I'm not going to go down so easily. My daughter is my world and I'll be damned if I will let these people fuck with my world. So I may be making some enemies in the coming weeks, what with the hearing date quickly approaching and all, but with the right kind of luck, I'll get to be the most prominent influence on my daughters life. God help her if I'm not.